Where to begin?! This week has been one of the best, most productive weeks of my life….in terms of skeleton anyway. I started kind of self-conscious and a little on the defensive side because I didn’t have the same opportunity that a couple other athletes had to stay at the OTC for several consecutive weeks. Tuesday was the worst day because for the first time my sled and I crossed the finish line at different times. I crashed and boy, did I feel isolated. I really just have never felt more unworthy and pathetic in my entire life. By mid week, though, the ice was warmer, slightly sticky and moist (if that makes sense) and that is where I began to reclaim my confidence and my sense of identity, which doesn’t lie in what other people are doing but in promises the The Father has for me.
Eastern Regional Championships was Friday, but it’s my first year, so I constantly told myself that it doesn’t really matter and my main focus needs to be to have fun and do the absolute best I can. I went in the day feeling great and focused. I went in confident in all my steering, both defensive and offensive. I went in knowing that my push had to be explosive and fast and strong. I went in not knowing, however, that my push, which is where the hopes and dreams of doing well lies, would die an icy death—I popped the groove. In skeleton, there’s no best out of anything. It’s the time of your total combined runs. So when my start was messed up before the beginning of my very first run, it was already over. That’s not even the worst part: I was so pissed and selfish minded at that point that I started to hope for my other teammates to fail. Obviously, that disturbed me, so I started to focus on everything I did right in the race and gave a little encouragement to a couple people around me. Eventually, my mood changed and I began to feel better about myself, my day and the sport.
Yes, it hurts that I didn’t have an accurate representation of my progress thus far, but I’m still confident I’m doing exceedingly well. So when I look back and evaluate my week, I’d say I’m thoroughly pleased. I have a long way to go and I’m ready for the ride.
Darryl Payne, Jr. 